Leading Ourselves

I have always believed that prior to leading others that we need to learn to lead ourselves in our lives. This means that first we need to do the inner work of knowing whom and what we are in our own lives, prior to taking on the responsibility of leading others.

We need to have done the deep work within of knowing our values, having a code of conduct as to how we live our lives, and a clear understanding of our purpose, mission and vision for our lives. The benefit to this type of work is that it is timeless. By this I mean that there is no “flavour’ of the newest leadership fad. Deep work is deep work, there is no way of getting around it, or “dressing” it up to be sexy or appealing.

It takes time, energy and commitment to look within. There is no quick fix. You can’t get someone else to do the work for you or “contract out, and get back to me with the answer type of situation. The work is not glamorous. It is most often done on our own, though beneficial to work with others in community,

Hard, tiring, a long process of peeling the layers of the onion back to get to the centre of it all. It means self- reflection, asking for feedback, having more questions than answers.. And perhaps most difficult being truthful with ourselves. This very process can be very tricky on its own. To actually have an awareness of the truth for yourself. Not just the intellectual process, but by the experienced process of living it., and knowing your truth by direct experience.

This means making and taking hard choices in life. Stretching yourself out of your comfort zone, or what I call our “stagnant zone”, of decay and atrophy. It means taking the setbacks as opportunities to grow, and learn from the experience, and perhaps most importantly, taking responsibility for our lives and our actions. As soon as we “blame” externals, we miss the opportunity to learn, and we also give away our power to events out of our control.

To know and understand whom you are is difficult, though also very rewarding. To be able to discern the differences and influences of the experiences and circumstances that have shaped us, though are not us, is formidable in its teaching.

This process of leading yourself never ends. As we constantly change and evolve. Ideally we are always growing, and expanding. And with this growth we have moments where we experience the uniqueness and the beauty of whom we are. Imperfections and all.

Then one day we might realize that we are all the proverbial snowflakes and waves - unique. It is this uniqueness that allows us to lead ourselves and others with the knowledge that we all have gifts to share. it is by looking within that we find the clues to what these gifts are for leading ourselves and others in life.

Decision Making

A expression that I read a few years back said “ we do not rise to the challenge, we fall to the level of our training”. This expression deeply resonated with me for a number of reasons. I often find myself in situations either guiding, teaching or in life in general where things do not go as planned. It is in these moments when life goes sideways that we in fact need to be at our optimum. We want to be in a mind sate where we are responding to the moments, as compared to a reaction to the circumstances unfolding.

A tool that I have found incredibly useful in this process is having a model or a strategy of what steps I should be considering, prior to pulling the pin and making the decision as to what to do, or not. Years ago I was on an Avalanche Canada training course and I was introduced to a model S.T.E.P.S. Over the years I have modified and expanded this model so that it can used in the mountains, on the ocean, or in life.

S - Situation. The first question is “what is the situation that I am in right now”? This could be in respect to weather, snow, water, other people, myself. What is the environment of the context that I am dealing with? It could also be a life decision or a business decision.

T - Terrain. In respect to the avalanche industry this could be classified as simple, challenging or complex. You could also use these descriptors in the context of life. Are you in a low, medium, or high stress situation, have you been here before, is it new and therefore unknown. Avalanche wise again it would also mean taking into consideration the size, shape, nuances and variables of the overall slope.

E - Exposure. How much exposure will I have? Is it continuous, brief, are there “hot spots”, how much exposure am I willing to accept, what are my exposure mitigation strategies - time, numbers, avoidance, acceptance, is this the same for everyone, options or alternatives, escape routes. What methods can I use to control my exposure and where am I vulnerable, and am I even aware of all my vulnerability points?

P - People. What is the dynamic with the group? Do we know each other well, are we high functioning, how do we communicate, ability levels, tolerance to risk differences, decision making ability of individual/ group as a whole? Is there a designated leader, am I committed or half in, do I feel pressure, am I trying to fit in?

S - Severity of the consequences. What if I am wrong, group is wrong, what are our contingencies, what is the urgency of the situation if we are wrong on a scale of 1-5? Am I willing to accept the risk with this level of severity, is the group? Is the situation high probability / low consequences or the other way around?

Bottom line is that is a worthwhile investment to have a decision making and processing strategy before you do any activity. This will give you a framework and a tool to analyze the situation and to ask the questions that need to be asked. These tools generate dialogue, communication and an increase in responsibility for all involved. The other benefit is that after the decision has been made and implemented you can review the steps taken, and see where you did well and or areas that you missed.

Warrior Wolf Vision

Our Mission:

Self Actualization / Self Efficacy / Self Mastery / Potential to Actualization for the Ultimate You

Our Audience:

You care. You have strong values and are action orientated. You march to your own drummer, because you know that it is the individual that makes the difference. You are not fond of the status quo; yet still believe that you will change the world, working with community. You are a poet, visionary and entrepreneur of dreams – yours and others.

 You are the change; the world is waiting for…

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The Chi of snow

I have spent the entirety of my life with snow. I cannot even envisage a life where there is no snow, for a significant portion of the year.

When I go into the mountains in the winter to recreate, work, or to recharge there is an integral first step that needs to be taken. This first step is to see, feel, think and accept the environment for the way it is, and not the way that I want it to be. I need to know what has been, what will be, and what that means for myself being in the mountains.

This means is that I must be aware of what state Nature is at that moment in its uniqueness and reality. I sometimes see the winter environment for what I want it to be. Great lines, recreation, a landscape for my pleasure and enjoyment.

The truth is that my perspective and my bias when I go into the mountains can be influenced or skewed by my human agenda. I tell the story to myself of what I want the situation and the context to be, as opposed to listening to the true story that is being told to me by the mountains and the snow. And this is vitally important. How good of listener and observer am I? Am I tuned into the frequency of the language of the mountains, or do I need more time to immerse myself into this rythm once more.

The story and the truth is always being told to me by the environment, and the weather is the main orator. The supporting cast are the mountains and their relationship to the snow, that has been created by songs of the the supporting members - wind, sun, temperature and precipitation.

Think of the mountains and the snow as having a relationship together. Then ask yourself the question “what is this relationship”? Am I welcome or am I an intruder at this time in this dynamic?

As I write these words right now I feel a sense of almost, I will use the word “honour” within me. The reason being is that I have chosen as my life’s work to be a part of the snow and the mountains as an expression of who I am to myself, and also to others.

It is deeply humbling and also a privilege to work with others in an environment that is sacred and ephemeral, while also deadly. To be a conduit and a voice for the winter environment, to speak the language of the snow in a way that creates an integrity of balance between humans and the snow.

Snow is unique as we are. Each crystal a product of its environment and the forces that acted upon that crystal. As we are. We are shaped by our choices, our environments and by the people that surround us, some chosen and others not.

The chi of snow is too dance and to be aware of a resonance or a disconnect between our intentions and the alchemy of the snow. Is it dancing with us today, or is it better to wait for another day when the dance is synchronous and melodic?

Scent

“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see”. Unknown

The sun was settling into the horizon line with a certainty and calmness that was comforting in its familiarity. It was day three of ten leading a group in the Chilcotin. We had gone in a different way than most, so there was very little human interaction along the approach. There was an exception to this. It was two hunters that were incredulous that we were travelling in the mountains without guns. There were all sorts of animals to be encountered that were dangerous and in their minds, we were not prepared. Difference of opinion is not argued, just a different energy to be encountered on the journey.

It was time for sleep. My favourite time of day when the environment seemed to relax into a sense of another day accomplished. More sunshine for growth, a light breeze to temper the bugs, and a softening of the light. Much like a dimmer switch though exponentially more profound and subtle. Richer with ambient tones.

I had separated myself from the group as I enjoyed the quiet and the solitude and there was little of each when leading a group of ten exuberant and excited young adults. I was camped about a hundred metres away in a small meadow with a fringe of trees on one end to offer some shelter from the wind. I was close to the pass, and we were well set up for a short hike up and over in the morning.

I had chosen to travel light on this trip and was sleeping in my bivy sack to get some relief from the bugs and also the early morning dew. It was snug. Though roomy enough to lie back with my headlamp and read for a while. The days were long however, and I soon found the battle with my eyelids to be a losing one and it was time for the dreamtime.

It was that magical time not quite night and not quite day. The word that came into my mind as I began to settle was Sunyata “emptiness”, in the Buddhist perspective, or the space between moments, where in fact life resides. Though there was also a contradiction to this feeling because as I was lying back, I felt a surge of adrenaline rush through my body.

Uncertain as to why though knowing that there had to be a reason, I stopped my downward trajectory and held a semi prone observation from inside my sleeping bag and the bivy. That is when I saw the reason for the adrenaline. About twenty metres away just on the fringe of the trees was the profile in the dwindling light of a very large bear staring intently at me.

Unfortunately, often the mind attempts to tell us what we want to hear and see when in reality our body and sense systems know exactly what we are dealing with. Grizzly. Motionless though in full engagement with staring at me in my bivy and sleeping bag. Humour is often a great stress reliever and for a flashing moment my mind created an image of a succulent bratwurst in a bun being served to the bear, with all the trimmings. Flesh, nylon, merino wool and some gore tex. There would be certainly no resistance as I was completely zipped and bundled into my sleeping bag.

The next thought was “I am totally screwed”. I am zipped up in my sleeping bag in my bivy, with a headlamp and a book. Perhaps if the bear was an appreciator of Taoism, I would be okay, but if not, I was totally done. My mind also flashed back to the discussion with the two hunters earlier in the day, maybe they were right?

These thoughts were cascading through my mind while at the same time I was certain that before the bear got to me that my chest would explode and that I would be dead of a heart attack. Either way I figured I was dead and there was not much that I could do to alter this certain outcome. So, I did the only action that seemed reasonable at the time. I lay down in my sleeping bag. Then I waited.

These must have been some of the longest and most exquisite moments of my life. Reflections on moments from the past, glimpse of what might have been and appreciation that it had all been a great ride, this adventure called life. Thoughts of breath control and relaxing were ghosts in my mind that I knew would serve me and that if I could find them at this moment.

Acceptance focus and a letting go seemed to be a strategy of what might work. So, I did all three. I accepted what seemed inevitable, I focused on my breath, and I let go. In and out. Deep slow and regular breathing. Not so much to achieve inner peace, more to stop the feeling that my heart was going to pop. Then I waited.

My senses were telling me that the bear was approaching, steady and certain. And why wouldn’t it. Hot dog in a bun ready to go. Time crawled. Though in a deep sense I was also appreciative of this slowness. As it meant that my life was being prolonged for a few more blissful moments. It was all that I could do to control my thoughts and the adrenaline raging through my body. Though I tried.

I slowly opened my eyes and peered over the hump of my feet in the sleeping bag, and there was the bear. Standing at the end of the bivy, paused and staring. I had to close my eyes again, this was way more than my body and emotions could take. Better to have my eyes closed. I than heard a rustle as the bear brushed its nose against the bivy and then started to move slowly towards where my head was.

I could hear the bear sniffing. Quick intakes of breath intermixed with deeper and longer inhalations. This moment was almost exploding my mind with anxiety and trepidation. Then the strangest thing happened. My brain said why don’t you sniff back? When have you ever breathed in a bear?

So that’s what I did. I began to sniff back. Very gentle and subtle intakes of bear. At first these inhalations were in my nose, and as my fear eased a tiny amount I breathed more deeply. And it was in this moment where a profound shift occurred within me. I smelt the bear for what it was, curious. Curious about who I was. Not what I was. I am certain that the bear had seen humans before, but as I mentioned, who I was. And as the bear attempted to build that understanding I did the same in return.

I sensed no anger or predacious behaviour. There was certainly none of this on my behalf either, as I was in a deep place of trying to ride my fear and accept the situation for what it was. A moment. Nothing more and nothing less of my life.

And as the bear and I breathed one another in, it circled the entirety of my bivy, never touching me again since that first light brush with its nose. Then it was gone. I lay there for an eternity until I was able to very slowly raise myself to look at the world again. The bear was in fact not gone. It was standing again at the edge of the meadow staring intently again. Willing me to rise up and look. As I did there was the eruption from the bears mouth three barks. And in those barks, it was interspecies communication in its clearest form. The bear spoke to me and said, “tonight you can stay here, but tomorrow you better be gone”. And we were.

A few weeks later I found out that a couple had spent six hours in those same subalpine trees, close to where I had camped, as to what I assume was an encounter with the same bear. I had also looked that evening by the light of the moon at the paw prints captured in the dew. The bear had done a complete circle around my bivy, straight from the trees and back again. There was intent and certainty in its path, and as to what that intention exactly was. I will forever wonder.

The Book: A New Story. Charles Eisenstein

A fascinating account on how it is time for Western society to change its story. The story of separation. That we are not a part of our environment. There is an incredible diversity and complexity of information that is presented.

The thought that comes to mind in respect to reading this book is that it is like a hot summer day. The sun feels wonderful on your skin, then it reaches a point where it is too hot, and you wish for a cool breeze. The reason I say this is that at times I felt overwhelmed and longing for relief.

A thoughtful, and very insightful call to action for moving away from the old paradigm, story and creating a new story of being one with everything on earth. 4.5/5